random

I just finished reading New Moon, the continuation from Twilight. And i think the story line in the second book kind of went out and it does not make sense anymore. Now it involves werewolves >.< i wonder why do i still want to read it despite how ridiculous it seems..I guess what captured my heart from this book is how the author expressed the main character's feeling.. It's funny how i am able to relate much to the main character.. her thoughts and feelings.. haha :S i shall practice self-control and wait till i finish all my assignments for this week then only i will start on the third book.

kler.. The internet gonna be shut down any moment..

i can't help but to miss home so much at this time..
wish i could spend time with mom on her birthday..

i shall end my day now..
good nite.

a childlike faith

Abram obeyed God at once when God asked him to leave everything (all his wealth and possession) to go to an unknown land based only on a promise. He trusted God even though he can't see where God is leading him. With his childlike faith, he followed God.

Matthew 18:3-4
And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Dear Lord,

help me to trust and obey You with a childlike faith,
i remember having the childlike faith when i made the decision to follow You..
As time passes by.. slowly the childlike faith in me fades along with time..
Bring me back to that moment
when i know what it means to love u, follow u and obey u like a child
i want to have the childlike faith again.

I feel like a

green zombie

Just wanna *edited*

show you peeps few pictures taken last Monday with my secondary school friends







"all grown up after 9 years" quoted from Esther

i love how Esther described us after not seeing us for 9 years :)

There're so much

that she wants to express here.. she wishes she could be more daring..

Even if she is.. things are different now

She came to realization that some things are not the same anymore..

what's left is just the memories of the freedom she once had

she thought to herself, this is the last

I met

up with few of my secondary friends yesterday at Midvalley. I finally get to see Esther who has been away to Texas for the past 9 years, she's someone i got to know during Form 1 and Jordan just got back from UK for his summer break. It was good seeing them, what amused me most was their behaviours which is still the same since we left school. It brings back all the happy memories during schooling years. Too bad i have to leave early for dorm devotion. If no, i would hang out with them a little longer.

Dorm devotion was good, Crystal made every girls talked a bit about our perspectives of love from John 3:16. In deed, it's a very common verse about how God loved us so much that he gave his only son to die for us. Most of the time, we tend to take this love that was given freely to us for granted. How easy for us to accept that love but what about when it comes to giving out our love? I believe many struggle to do that.
To me, love takes a lot of efforts and sacrifices. It can be joyful and painful at the same time. Are we willing to make efforts and sacrifices to love others just like how God has loved us? we tend to love only when it makes us feel good but what about during painful moments?

ermm.. this is something for me to ponder about.. and you too :)

I better get going to class! Class gonna start in 10 minutes time. Oh yeah.. something's wrong with lappy, i can't push the screen down to close it. It's stuck, if i force to close it, my screen might break at the side. Sigh.. it's giving me a hard time and i'm thinking should i or should i not drop by Low Yat later.

weekend was..

just okay.. There's supposed to be a meeting yesterday(which has been postponed many times) it was cancelled again because of another meeting i didn't know about. Anyway i was glad that i didn't have to attend that meeting. Therefore, i had plenty of time yesterday after service. Rejected a few invitation from friends to hang out with them.. Sorry.. I just feel like staying at home.. It has been a while i didnt spend time with myself, me and me alone :) And guess what, it felt great!

Sam Girl gave me the twilight series she got from e-book when she visited me last Saturday. I was truly grateful when i received it thinking how well she knows how my heart has been longing to read it. Thank You! It has been a good companion to me yesterday, i spent most of my day reading it from my laptop and fell asleep a couple of time too (because reading a novel from my laptop is not easy and truly tiring) I always prefer to read from books but due to my tight budget since i enter bible school. I stopped buying myself books..

Just last Saturday, i only found out that there is such a thing called e-book which is a website where i can download novels in PDF format. How cool is that eh? I know i'm outdated but i'm really thrilled! Now i can download all the novels i've been wanting to read since ages ago for free! Yays! I shall try to finish up twilight this week (i know i know.. i have my course-related readings to do, i will try not to neglect it too >.<)

BTW.. the book twilight is so much better than the movie but it is not the best teenage romance book in my list. As i continue reading, it kind of give me an impression that it is very unreal(definitely not real lar!!) Vampire falling in love with a normal girl who he's willing to give up his life to protect, how ridiculous right? But this novel managed to capture the hearts of my young girls in bringing them to a fantasy of an impossible romance. Overall, I think it's a good book to read, just don't fall too deep into it lar.. Coz that kind of love story can never happen in real life leh. Read and forget about it..

My grading for that book.. would be just "B"

sigh.. i'm still stuck here with my Greek assignment. Will try to finish it before meeting some of my secondary school friends tonight. I better finish it coz it gonna due tomorrow >.<
ciaoz peeps.

I remember

telling You all i want to do
is to serve You all my life...

without knowing what it means to serve You..
I guess i was naive at that time..

Now i wonder what can i do for You?

It's been a while

tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap

I know

The feeling of losing something

so important

so dear

so precious..

i know how it feels..

i know how it hurts..

I know how your heart is grieving over it..

i'm sorry i couldn't be there for you

you have my thoughts and prayers

Be strong..

I'm tired

and i gonna end my day now.. It has been a long day with classes..
kla good night peeps.

May tomorrow be another day I can "smile" even more.. :D

idunnohowididit.imgladthatitnolongerhauntsme.thankgodforbeingwithmeduringthosetimes.
nowicanfreely :)



itfeelssogoodtojustbemyself

people who know me well

would know that i fancy horror movie. It has been a while since i last watched a horror movie until yesterday. I was pestered by Venus to watch one since ages ago. Venus, unlike most of my friends, she enjoys the excitement of horror movies like me. I think she is the only friend i have who would watch horror movie with me and the same goes for her too. HAHA! However, to my surprise, i got freaked out yesterday watching it and that showed me how my heart has weaken and i no longer can take the ugliness and sudden shocking appearance of a ghost ( i thought to myself believing maybe horror movies nowadays are more 'canggih'. Ghost is more ugly and more real now >.<)

After last night, I think right now i dun really fancy horror anymore.. But watching it once in a blue moon is okay.. Anyway next time, i would prefer to pay to watch something more enlightening like animation, comedy or romance.. Haha..

Something like twilight :D

I know i'm outdated, i somehow managed to get hold of twilight dvd from mun chin and watched it the other night and despite how many people told me about their disappointment in that movie because it didn't turned out the way they expected it and how the book described it, i kind of like it :D And inside me, there's a part which want to read the book badly >.< But i definitely not going to purchase that book. So anyone who has it, mind lending it to me? hehe Ruben? Vivian?

ok.. better stop here and get back to work!
leading youth cell tonight, there's a teacher's meeting tomorrow and teaching this Sunday.
*can't help but to feel anxious and nervous about leading all of the above even i have done it many times*

Lord, help me..

I'm having

a week break from BCM now and today is the fourth day of my holiday. That explain the slack in updating my blog :P well it is also due to the inconvinience in accessing to the internet here at home. I'm having second thought of applying streamyx again which i know very well mom is against that thought because i'm not around at home most of the time during weekdays. But it would be much easier for me to work during weekends and during time like these when i'm having my break. If only i can get my hands on the internet :P Besides, I think i'm way back behind in my church & law assignments and this is very bad.. oh man i dunno how many readings and polls i must have missed :(

However, there's a small part of me that is against that thought cause i'll end up taking it for granted for my personal leisure as i know myself very well and how addictive i can get when it comes to internet :P oh my oh my then i better put that thought aside for this moment. I guess it will depend how much i slack in my assignments due to not being able to access to internet at home :P (trying not to use work as an excuse to subscribe the internet)

You know.. Me being in my third year at bcm, this is the first time (i think) i enjoyed my break much :) Not because i have lesser work or what but i think some part of me changed, what i mean is my perception, my thinking and the way i see things. Perhaps i had grown mature.. haha and i began to value and appreciate things that i never realised before this. I spent much time with my family, brought mom to places :) and met up with few of my dear friends this week. Talking about meeting up with friends, i'm gonna see Wai Cheng tonight and someone special to her (whom i can't wait to see) haha!

Besides that.

The past few days, i spent my time reflecting a lot, facing my greatest fear, asking myself what do i really want and at the end of everything God kind of make me see that many times i made myself think that i'm not ready, insufficient, not prepared. The result of that, i'm running away from a lot of things that i think i can't handle. I've been hearing a lot from people telling me to be bold and courageous, it is also one of the things i have been struggling to be and do not like doing. Yeah.. so much things that i don't like to do but someone kinda unintentionally adviced me that in the ministry it is not about our likings but it is all about what God wants.

Often i seek for what i want to do, i asked God what is my gifting so i can use it effectively but God also make me realised that it is not about what i want to do for God or what i can do for God. It is about what God wants me to do and the willingness in me to do anything for God even if i don't like it. I guess there're so much that i need to die to myself in serving God. I need to constantly remind myself and ask myself "how willing am i to serve God?" " Till what extent i will go for God?" I know myself well enough to say that I'm not in the position where i'm ready to do anything for God but i'm trying.. I pray that God will help me do that.

There're still so much for me to learn about serving God.

Often..

We hope to hear from God..

We pray that God will reveal His plans clearly to us..

We pray and ask God to speak to us..

It is easy to pray

but

To be able to hear from God is not just about asking and babbling it out in our prayers

It is about how much effort we are willing to put in and do in order to hear from God

Are we willing to pay the price to hear from God?

It requires much determination

It requires much discipline

It requires much self-control

It requires much of our heart

1 Samuel 3:19

The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground.

Samuel was able to hear from the Lord as he grew up because he paid the price to hear from God by doing what is pleasing and good in the Lord's eyes.

He had the determination, discipline, self-control and the heart.

Lord, i really want to hear from You and i know it's not that easy as i need to be very determined to put in effort to be close to You. Help me O Lord to do that..