Great is the Lord

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise
The city of our God, the holy place
The joy of the whole earth
Great is the Lord in whom we have the victory
He aids us against the enemy
We bow down on our knees

And Lord, we want to lift Your name on high
And Lord, we want to thank You
For the works You've done in our lives
And Lord, we trust in Your unfailing love
For You alone are God eternal
Throughout earth and heaven above

By Steve McEwan
_____________________________________________

Happy Moments

*Big Grins*
I wanna share some happy moments with you, you and yes you who is reading this :)Went to Leo's at SS2 with Angeline and Kay Renn for dinner.. After dinner, we had another round with girls from dorm at KFC to celebrate Kay Renn and Yu Lian's birthday.. Finally i get to eat my KFC which i've been craving for since last Sunday :)

Below are some pictures taken just now.. things that make me happy.. Friends(my loves) and food.


Chong Hwa(last term roommie), Emily, Ruth and Rachel :)


Miss Nyon(part time roommie) and Miss Teh (My Roommie) :P


Mei Fern, Me, Beatice and Rachel above us


The birthday girls having their big big bite


Me and Beatrice(ex-roomie) :)


Miss Teh happily licking the remaining cheese sauce :P


Me and Yu Lian(Oh gosh!! She looks like a superstar)


Miss Nyon doing this >.<


ermm.. LOL Beatrice and me posing >.<


BCM girls


Me in Kay Ren's big glasses O.O haha.. at least this one is better than the last one right??


That's Lee Chee.. ex dorm monitor and ex treasurer for student council.. i have become her successor.. The head at the side.. that's Angeline.. trying get herself in this picture.. >.<


me and Mei Fern (my assistant dorm monitor) :)

Ok. that's all for today.. i got to continue with my readings >.<
nitez peeps
ciao :)

Tag

Okie.. Lionel tagged me.. maybe i should do it since I've been posting too many emo post and my blog has become too emo.. until me myself can't take it too.. Perhaps doing a tag will lighten my readers a bit..

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog

Name: Chee Yu Li
Sisters: -
Brothers: Chee Kok Leong
Shoe size: 4
Height: 155 cm
Where do you live: BCM, my house in Cheras and church

Have you ever
Been on a plane: Yep
Swam in the ocean: Yep
Fallen asleep at school: Nope
Broken someone's heart: yep
Fell off your chair: Yep
Saved e-mails: only important ones
What is your room like: messy.. real messy..

Do you
Believe in love at first sight: Nope

Who was / were the last person(s)
You danced with: I really can't remember.. i think Joanne.. She taught me a few dancing steps.. so i think she was the last person i danced with.
Last made you smile: A lil girl from church

Today did you
Talk to someone you like: i havent talk to anybody yet..
Kissed anyone: Nope
Get sick: ermm.. still havent fully recover from cough
Talk to an ex: Nope
Miss someone: yeah.. badly
Eat: nope.. not yet... soon

Random
Is there a person who is on your mind now: yeah..
Do you want children: yep..

Do you like your hand-writing: i think so.. i dun really like to write
Are your toe nails painted: Nope
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: ermm.. i can't think of anyone.
When did you cry last: few hours ago
Are you a friendly person: ermm.. i dunno la.. when i'm not moody i guess.. trying to be friendly..
Where is the person you have feelings for right now: ermmm.. i dunno..
Have you ever crawled through a window: yeah.. i did.. >.<

Can you handle the truth: I think so.. i always rather know the truth than the false or not knowing at all.
Who was the last person you cried in front of: Tab
How many people can you say you've really loved: a lot
Do you eat healthy: nope.. i dun.. i eat like a pig
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex: nope
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you: yeah
Are you loud or quiet most of the time: quiet most of the time
Are you confident: Nope
Are you controlling: Nope

5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1. tons of tuition class
2. books
3. homework
4. Sailormoon
5. Spice Girls (same with Lionel.. me and my friends were crazy over them)

5 snacks I enjoy
1. chocolate
2. burger daging special
3. KFC
4. Yum Yum
5. yogurt

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1. shop like crazy
2. do donation to charity
3. but a new house, car and etc.. properties
4. travel around the world
5. settled in some country and do missions there.

5 jobs I've had
1. teacher
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. -

5 people I tag
1. You who is reading this :)

from bottom again

I didn't know i've lost so much of me in myself..
or have i changed? my heart changed?
Friend told me not long ago
"What happen to the Yu Li I once knew?"
I dunno how to answer to that question
but i'm sure about one thing..
I'm searching for that Yu Li back..
All that i have lost
I'll find it back
and
whether i like it or not i have to start from the bottom..
And this time i want to rise up stronger with God..
Slow process i guess
just like learning how to walk
All over again from the bottom..

"let go of everything but not God.
instead
let go everything......to God."

quoted from a friend's blog.. I think it's very meaningful :)
There're many things in life we need to let go in order to move forward..

No matter what you have to let go and how painful or difficult it is..

never never let go of God..

learn to let go everything to God
(a reminder to myself)

...

I feel like burying myself under the pillow and cry myself to sleep or maybe go up the roof top and scream my lungs out? or maybe drive myself to somewhere and treat myself good food? Arrghhh.. can't do any of what i've just mentioned.. Just got much to do.. It's just too much.. Again i'm caught up in the mixture of all feelings.. sad, pain, hurt, anger, frustration, disappointment, discouragement and etc.. it's all burning inside me and it's pretty overwhelming now.. Too many things happening at the same time.. And i dunno how to deal with it.. I'm sorry.. Truly am sorry.. I know i'm not doing well.. Again i can't help but to feel inadequate and incapable.. i didn't mean to disappoint anyone. I trying to be strong. I am trying.. i'm really trying..
Lord, i need you so much..

LOVE

A question i've been asking..
What is love?

...

Searching..

I wish i could have more time to search and find what i have lost.
I'll find the time to search for it
It might be a long and slow process but i'll search it back no matter what..
When i found it..
I'm going to make sure it is sealed in my heart and it wouldn't escape.
And during this moment of searching, I need you Lord to help me.
Without You, there's no point for me to search..
It's all for You, Lord.
I love You.

...

I’ve been holding on it tightly.. not wanting to let go...
Too precious, too valuable,
Because of it, I have lost much…
But I have no regrets and I treasured it very much..
I heard a whisper deep inside me..
I know it’s from You
It’s time..
I know i have to let go
It's very difficult..
It's very painful..
but I have to..
Will always be in my memories..

...

I woke up at 6:15 am this morning with my throat feeling horrible and it's worse than before. Tried to go back to sleep after devotion but had a very restless sleep.. coughed badly.. really grateful that Angeline made me a hot lime drink that supposed to make my throat feels better. I guess it did make my throat feels better :) for a while >.<
Just did a "to do list"
yep.. there's a lot of stuff waiting for me to do.. i shouldn't wander around too much and better get my work done fast..
I think i'll start today with Key Mag stuff and some phone calls. Will try to look into the Children's camp thingy after lunch then will continue with follow-ups on the Kg Tekir Mission Trip. Assignments? Maybe tonight lar..
Ok Yu Li.. you better start work!

Lemon Tree

Lemon Tree. Remember this song? It used to be one of the top hits during the 90s. I remember hearing it everywhere, from tv, radio, shopping complex and people singing it everywhere i went. Never really take note and bother about what the lyric means. Dunno how, somehow i heard it somewhere again and the lyric kinda hit me.. So yeah.. Most probably because it speaks part of my feelings. I wonder if you feel the same as well?
I wanted to upload the video but couldn't find the original MV from YouTube..
Tak apa la i guess.. >.<
Lyric is below :)

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast
I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

I'm sitting here
I miss the power
I'd like to go out taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired
Put myself into bed
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder

Isolation is not good for me
Isolation I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree

I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy
And everything will happen and you wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
And I wonder, wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see
Is just a yellow lemon-tree

...

I was browsing through pictures on missing someone because i am missing someone.. found this picture i thought very cute.. yeah.. i miss you.. really very much :(

I guess what people really want when they're feeling sad and lonely is someone to be by their side
They desperately wish for
Someone who would listen
Someone who would just be there and do nothing
Someone who understands
Someone who would give them a touch and say "It's ok"
Someone who would give them a hug and shoulder for them to cry on
Someone to love them

Do you know it's torturing to have no one to turn to..
Take a look at people around you..
Can you see the pain in their eyes?

I was tussling to fall asleep last night.. ish.. just hate it when i can't sleep at night.. loneliness, fears and etc will creep in. Tears eventually filled my eyes .. When i finally close my eyes and sleep.. the alarm rang.. and i'll be like "oh.. i felt like i just fallen asleep and now it's morning dy" Then the feeling i felt before i sleep will somehow creep in again.
What is this feeling? That seems to appear only at the end and beginning of the day >.<

I wish

I wish to be able to express my feelings better.
I wish to be able to blend in with people easily.
I wish to be bold and courageous.
I wish to be more confident.
I wish I could just speak out what I thought.
I wish I could talk more.
I wish I could talk louder.
I wish I could get people to understand me.
I wish I could understand people better.
I wish people would know that I love them.
But
I also
Wish to be quiet at times
Wish to be alone at times
Wish to hide somewhere and be away from people.

How I wish I could change and also be myself.

Some people told me.
Just be yourself Yu Li
Don’t force yourself to be someone you’re not.

Some people also told me.
Yu Li, you have to change.

Be myself? Change? Be myself? Change?

Well.. To me
I need to change
And be myself.

How?
It’s not easy.
I’m trying.
Really..

I thought i have get rid of it. I guess it's not easy letting go of it completely. Heart was aching when i woke up this morning, tears rolled down like a leaking tap as i thought of it.. Sadness was all over me again..But it was not as bad as before.. I guess time will slowly take away the pain. Prayed hard that it won't affect my work today.. Prayed and prayed, i sensed His presence and He told me "It's ok Yu Li" "I know" "I understand" "I am with you" "I'll walk with you"
How comforting to know that. Thank you Lord. I'm very grateful.. I love you..

I was asked to reflect on a passage.. been thinking about it a lot but i still couldnt go deep into it.. trying hard..

Lord, open my eyes..

Self-centered

I guess I've been focusing too much on myself and not people around me. I'm sorry.. I guess i'm not sensitive enough towards ppl's feelings. I guess i have been focusing on my own feelings and not others. Yu Li take a look at your surrounding. Don't just look at yourself and dwell in your own world of thoughts. Do something about it and COME OUT!

It's funny or weird how things turned out..
There're things u hope for but it didnt turn out the way u wanted it to be..
Things you never expect to happen, happened..
But one thing i learned is never let things that happened whether good or bad to take over me and my relationship with God..
It didn't turned out how i hoped it would
But
right now.. I'm glad it didn't
God knows what is best for me..
I guess i've been putting other stuff 1st and not God..
God reminded me that i need to love Him more than anything else..
Teach me to love you more and put You first in my heart..

went to the airport yesterday after class.. Tab's flying to US..
A lot of memories and thoughts went through my mind when i was on bed last night after Tab's departure.. Just going to miss her much.. wait.. No.. I'm missing her so badly already.. Though it's only 3 months but can't help feeling this way.. haha
Yeah.. You take care ya.. Will see u online.. loves..
___________________________________________________________________________________

A few people i love are leaving to somewhere this month.. Sigh.. Just gonna miss them very much too..
Siew? U there.. I'm missing u also and study hard ya.. waiting for u to call :)lotsa love..

I will miss you very very much..
Thanks for everything..
I'm very very grateful..
I love u..

Tab, u hear me.. u better keep in touch.

Love,
me.